On the Composer's Inner World



While the composer's musical output can be kaleidoscopic in colour, variety and nuance, his/her inner world functions as Yin and Yang.  That is, only in the extremes of light and darkness.  There is no colour, there is no grey.  In our mortal world, the creation of passionate, inspired and well-crafted musical works is one of the greatest manifestations of the light.  However, the equally powerful darkness cannot be denied.  This means that the greater the expression of beauty and inspiration in music or in art, the greater darkness will manifest itself within the composer or artist.  There is a price to pay.  This is why so many great composers either mentally implode or manifest ugly traits, quirks and behaviors.  I struggle with this myself.  The temperamental composer is not a horrible person, evil, selfish, narcissistic, egotistical or arrogant; none of those in fact.  We simply are being ripped apart on the inside every minute of every day by frightfully powerful forces.  The darkness must be released in one way or another.  Containment and internalizing this opposite energy often leads to madness, and even death.